I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't deserve a penis
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
