His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
