): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i drank out of a bidet.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
