Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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