I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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