Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
