i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
