Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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