if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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