Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
