So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it hurts more in the daytime
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
