In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
