I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
