Where is the hickey?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
