just tell him i said nine months
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
