Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
