this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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