just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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