found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The ass gains better be worth it
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