Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
