Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
