didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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