You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
