I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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