I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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