He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
