1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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