so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
