I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
