Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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