u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
