I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
