Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
