I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
