Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
