Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
