I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
