She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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