For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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