Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
