We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize