I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
