She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
