Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
