I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
