I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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