and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
