so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
