ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
