they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
