Will you blow on my dice?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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