I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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